Why is it that sometimes, women need to get stress relief from a department store or mall? Do I speak for the gender, or a small minority? Today, I choose my therapy this way. Why, you may wonder, like a close girlfriend sitting across the table, staring intently and waiting patiently for me to continue; seconds passing like time without end.
Caught in a trap weeks ago, I was pulled over by the somewhat arrogant and righteous motorcycle cop as a passed through a (my opinion) poorly marked school zone. It felt like entrapment as I sat in the car waiting for the officer to approach my window. School zone violation; big trouble!
Rallied by a close friend and his attorney brother upon hearing my confession of the morning event, they declared, ‘You must go to court!’ “What”‘, I said, as my stomach knotted with angst and I fought back the tears. How could a simple offense bring such fear? I tried to logically make sense of my emotional fragility. My normally strong demeanor had vanished. And so it was that I visited the downtown Broward County courthouse for my first pre-trial court appointment. Room 241, the computer printout directed me upstairs.
Within minutes I had stood before the judge. Everyone of us there for some traffic violation. Wow, I thought to myself silently, what a dependable source of steady income for the County; a whole industry based in the procurement of minor violations. The boring routine of the clerks catches my attention. They sit in proximity to the judge Busily attending to the volumes of paper, like nurses on some ward, recording decisions, and dosages making notes for a future time or date. I observe the obligatory stamp. ” NEXT!”
And it was over for the moment. I get to return to face the officer armed with my photographs of the poorly marked school zone. Face to face. In the meantime, and to sooth my battered emotional state, I treat myself to lunch and splurge, adding a glass of white wine. Yes, looking for a new pair of shoes and new lipstick definitely shifted my afternoon.
Conquering this fear today, and maybe for a lifetime, I will walk through the door one more time. I know this experience is important. I know it will make me stronger. I know this is part of my journey. I challenge you to face something that you fear today. We do not come with all the answers, and I believe co-create these lessons. As the eternal beings we are, there are many mysteries which escape our intellect. I feel this is one of mine.
“Having climbed certain peaks you’ll descend no more, but spread your wings and fly beyond.” Messiah’s Handbook